I have seen many of these but I still giggle....
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no
money in your account?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why are there still apes if so many millions of people evolved from them?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Why do bugs go into those enclosed light fixtures to die?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
w e complained about the heat??
Why do the statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends
-- if they're okay, then it's you.
PERKS OF BEING OVER 60
1. Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you
are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you???"
5. People no longer view you
as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to
learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't
8 You can eat dinner at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex
but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of
speed limits as challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with
14. Your eyes won't get
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18 Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember
who sent you this list!
And you notice these are
all in Big Print for your convenience.