Jeff Foxworthy on Coloradoans
*You are a Coloradoan if ..........*
23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
24. ...But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
28. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
29. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
30. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
31. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
32. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
33. You know where the real " South Park" is.
34. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight .
35. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'
36. You've 'checked for ticks'
37. Yo've dressed in shorts , sandals, and a parka with a hood.
38. You've gone snow skiing in July and.........
39. You've played golf in January and.......
40. They were in the same year!
41. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans
42. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is
43. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
44. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado friends.