newstitle.jpgDon Smith
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THIS WEEK IN REVIEW ....October 23, 2008
This weeks Reporter-Don Smith

news_l3.gif All        news_l4.jpg   Jim Rees     news_l5.gif  Dave Miley

Quote of the Day:   “Don’t worry about avoiding temptations as you grow older, it will avoid you”. Winston Churchill

Guests:    None

Fines:  N/A

Announcements:   Bob Hogge has King Soopers cards for sale. The club gets 5% return.
Doug has the new Entertainment books for $25.    Doug mentioned the Pastor Jim fell from 5 rungs off his ladder and landed on his side. He is doing okay and may be at lunch next week.

Dry Creek Sertoma is holding a wine tasting for $25 to be held Oct 25th from 6-8 M - see Jim Rees for details. Santa letters for $5.00 each.

Fall District Conference is Oct 25th, 7:30AM to 12:30PM

Dave Miley is temporarily playing Historian. Thanks Dave.

Norm is selling Poinsettia’s again this year (it’s for his wife who is a member of La Sertoma).

Possible BINGO opportunity. Enslow checked with the Sect. of State and since Sertoma is a National non-profit, we can have another club join with us on bingo. Bingo reports can be found on the Sect. of State web page, under bingo.
Dick is also looking for a couple golf players that haven’t paid for a game they played in.


news_l6.gif SERTOMAN OF THE DAY: 

Young Pat McKim was born in York, Penn in 1968 (Pat thought some of us were wearing underwear that old). He was the last of 4 kids and in 1970, his parents moved the family to Littleton so he went to Littleton public schools. Rick Jacobus and Sam Anderson got him into the club. Pat has known Rick a long time.
Pat went to CU Denver for his degree as a certified financial planner and has worked at that profession for the past 17 years or so.

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Pat has served every position in the club except secretary and has been a bingo captain for about 10 years. He figures with his young age, he has brought the average age of the club DOWN to 65. Pat has also been the S.O.Y. (Sertoman of the Year)

He is single, has never been married and has no kids (as far as he knows). His hobbies
include everything that takes him where the ladies are, riding dirt bikes and mountains bikes. He has no military service. He grew up on the Platt River and his High School, Heritage High, is still standing. His dog’s name is El Guapo and Pat is in the finishing stages of his new home.


Program:   Tim Pollak introduced John Burghardt who works for the National Park Service. John came to tell us about Bat’s (the kind that fly around at night).

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Mammals, having hair and giving birth to live young and feeding them on milk from mammary glands. Over 900 species of bats account for one fifth of all mammal species worldwide (second only to rodents). Species differentiation more abundant in tropics.

45 species native to North America. Most North American species are insectivorous, but some feed on nectar. Fruit-eating bats live in the tropics. 3 species are vampire bats, feeding on blood from other animals. Of those, 2 species feed only on birds. The other feeds on mammals, including humans, and can be found in Mexico. Bats are the only true flying mammals.

Interesting tidbits: A little brown bat weighs only 0.4 ounces, yet can catch and eat up to 1,200 mosquitoes in one hour. 20 million Mexican free-tail bats at Bracken Cave (Texas) eat 200 tons of insects nightly. Bats can roost in colonies as tight as 500 bats/sq. ft. Tropical bats are essential to rain forest ecology and play a key role in pollination and seed dispersal. Many North American bats mate in the fall and the female stores the sperm through winter, then self-impregnates when conditions are right in the spring.

Myths about bats: Bats are not blind. Bats do not become entangled in human hair.
Bats seldom transmit disease to other animals or humans – most likely transmitters of rabies are raccoons, skunks, foxes, and coyotes.


Upcoming programs:
October 30-Open 
November 6th- Grey La Certe-Identity Theft
November 13-Frank Novachek-Hydrogen as a Automotive Fuel
November 20-Dean Cottington-God Bless America
November 27-Thanksgiving

handshake.gif Pat McKim     pot2.gif  Bob Buckland  dollars.gifJim Rees

Oct 30 - Regular Meeting - SOD– Barney O’Grady
Nov 6  - Regular Meeting - SOD – Jim Perkins
Nov 13 - Regular Meeting - SOD – John Pifer
Nov 20 - Regular Meeting - SOD – Tim Pollak
Nov 27 - Thanksgiving day.


Click here for a printable version PDF  
   Editors notes:     If you want an electronic copy of the Roster,  
  send an e-mail.

Sertoma Application form: app.pdf       Recruiting Manual

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Click for the Arapheo Sertoma Photo Page


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John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), also called 'pullets,' and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Jack, a very fine specimen. But on this particular morning, John noticed old Jacks's bell hadn't rung at all.

John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets all over the place with bells-a-ringing. The pullets, upon hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Jack had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Jack, he entered him in the Adams County Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result.. The judges not only awarded old Jack the No Bell Piece Prize, but they awarded him the pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Jack was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully this year...the bells are not always audiable.


Columbo is still scratching his head.
Ah . . Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir

Columbo Image.jpg

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . . know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important and . . . ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok, sir?
See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.
Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum once!
Oh, sorry sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island ? No, I didn't think so. .
Well, listen, anyways, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be 'locked' or 'not available'. I'm sure it's just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are . . . I .. . . I . . . have them written down here somewhere . . . oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.
Could you help me please find these things, sir?

1. Occidental College records -- Not released
2. Columbia College records -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- 'not available'
4. Harvard College records -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- 'not available'
8. Law practice client list -- Not released
9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
10. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
11. Harvard Law Review articles published -- None
12. University of Chicago scholarly articles -- None
13. Your Record of baptism-- Not released or 'not available'
14. Your Illinois State Senate records--'not available'

Oh hey . listen! I know you are busy! Is this too much for you now? I mean tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will just let myself out. I will be back tomorrow.
     Who wants to know these things? asked Senator Obama.
Columbo answered: THE PEOPLE who believe in facts and not in promises. The same people who use their head and not their heart to elect a president. The people who have their feet on the ground and not their heads in the clouds. That's who wants to know, Sir.